Broken

I hate this. Hate that I’m stuck and not even able to make myself try.

Half hearted effort follows half hearted effort.

And the only thing that is happening is I’m getting fatter and sadder in equal measure.

I’m pretending to follow a meal replacement diet, yet I’m driving to 24hr stores to stock up on jars of chocolate spread and bottles of fat coke!

I am the heaviest I have been in over a year and it shows no sign of getting better. Everything feels broken.

I no longer go to the gym. I don’t eat meals. I live off snacks – tubes of squeeze cream, blocks of cheese, family bags of Yorkshire puddings and mugfuls of gravy.

I disgust me. Nothing I own fits anymore. I hace gone from 163lb to 192lb. I just want to crawl in to bed and sob myself skinny.

So far it hasn’t worked. I need a plan.

I need help? What can I try?

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Getting My Shake On!

So I got fat. As in… piled on the chub. I creeped from 163lb up to 188lb! Ouch!!

As soon as I ate anything that was it I couldn’t stop. It didn’t help that I’d got myself in to a crappy relationship with a jealous control freak… who wanted to feed me up  (to match him/ensure I wouldn’t wander). I got myself in to a terrible habit of 2 share chocolate bars a day, no real meals just nasty snacks 24/7. The sickness came back too… sorry guys.

So I have taken drastic action and cut out food fullstop to try and reset my body a touch. Don’t panic kids… I’m not starving, I’ve gone back to Exante.

Recap time – Exante, 3 meal packs a day and 2 litres of water. That’s it. Nothing else shall pass my lips!

Week One – July 13th – 188lb

I managed Monday through Friday 100%. On the Saturday I went on a work holiday with food included. Saturday and Sunday I had two packs and a small meal.

I lost about 10lb

Week 2 – 20th July

This was the holiday. Monday to Friday was either 1 pack 2 low calorie low carb meals or 2 packs and one meal. It was so tough turning down cream tea and all paid for meals out twice a day!! I snuck my scales in my suitcase and I lost about 2lb… which isn’t to be laughed at I guess.

Week 3 – 27th July

This has been such a tough week. I was 100% Monday and Tuesday. Wednesday I was back to work and it was a clients birthday – he saved me snacks and cake etc. Which I ate of course. Three days in a row I pigged out. Friday I used up two veggie pies and chips from my freezer and vowed to get back on it Saturday.

Saturday – deserved its own paragraph!

I had a shake at lunch, then got invited out to Cardiff for the day. Off we went to the most amazing Waffle & Sundae House… and I had….

…. a diet coke!

That’s right, Saturday was the 100% on plan. So far Sunday has been the same.

I’m now back to 176lb – 12lb down in almost three weeks (2 if you discount my work week!)

And long may it continue – 3 more weeks and I’m away and will eat anything I want. Until then, Exante all the way!

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Waffle Menu!

See you Monday for official weigh in!!!

Hello July!

Oh dear well I don’t know about you guys but I’ve missed you! I’ve been so busy with work, home, family and friends that this (and my diet – we’ll get to that!) has taken a back seat! But it’s ok, I’m here now. Don’t panic lovelies.

So what has happened? Well, I’ve been out and about quite a bit! I had time off work so stayed with friends for a few days – I had an epic time but my waistline did not! Oh the horror when I returned to chub club to be told I gained half a stone – oops! I had fun though so that’s ok, right?? I don’t think there was anything we didn’t eat : BBQ, cider, american diner burgers, pizza, cake, sweets, more cake, more cider, oh dear!

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Been out for a few meals here and there too – pizza, Mexican, harvester! But again it was fun, the company was amazing and as always “life before diet” – what’s the point in being skinny if it means missing out on all the good stuff!

So I have returned and I’m going to kick butt! My mum and her partner have been dieting too – not Slimming World but a VLCD called Exante! Since February they’ve lost almost 10stone between them!

Well I fancied a bit of that, just to lose my gain and maybe a headstart as am so close to my end goal now. It’s been hard – you have three “meal packs” a day and that is it! (Give or take a few slightly different plans) Well I’ve started and restarted a few times but am really going for it this time! I have set myself an 11 week challenge to try and hit goal! So far I am almost one whole week in but unfortunately weigh in for this doesn’t tie in with weigh in for Slimming World. Oh well. Official Exante weigh is tomorrow! Slimming world was yesterday however and there I lost 5 mahoosive pounds!! Aw yeh!

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It is getting easier to stick to it as well, your body goes in to ketosis where you are low carb so burn fat rapidly (ish) and the hunger just goes away – cool huh? There are a few different plans too which I’m trying out and so far it’s helped me stick to it far better!

Total Solution – 3 packs
Total Solution+ – 3 packs plus 100cals low-carb veg off a list
Working Solution – 3 packs plus 400cals low-carb meal/snacks
Simple Solution – 3 packs plus 600cals meal

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I’ve so far done a bit of everything as, especially with work, it’s hard to support someone to go for a meal and not eat with them! (I support adults with learning disabilities for those who don’t know) So on those days I have had the 400/600 calories! Heck, I’ve lost 5lb don’t knock it!

So you will see me tomorrow for “Official Exante Weigh In 1”